Good Morning

My lungs are screaming some sticky black song of sadness
My veins are shaking, pulsing, and crying as this caffeine soaks into their deep wells of blood
My eyes are cracking; dry beneath old contacts long left upon them
My toes are numb, wet, and over-watered from the weeping grey sky
and my mind
is tired, sore, and quite terribly blank

Frustrated

Frustrated is such a beautiful word; yet it is so negative.
Please push my buttons when i'm obviously worn down
Please snap at me when i'm doing my best
Please for the love of all things good
get some work ethic, some balls to say what you mean
and if you can't step up don't play the game
This must be a joke
Frustrated from hunger
from lack of sleep
depreciated self worth
inabilities
and fulfillment
Frustrated

3-24

Today
I'm myself
black stretched out wife beater loosley hanging over slightly too-tight biking shorts
My foot is scarring as the dark dried dead skin begins to flake, fall, and fringe off the wound
hair straightened
nail polish scraped, scratched, and scrubbed to the brink of exhistance upon both fingers and toes
smelling of dark beer, bad cigarettes, and Calvin Klien
not perfect, a little broken
but I'm myself today
nothing feels better
than that

backpack

blue pen, black pen, folded square of paper, gum wrapper, credit card, new debit card, blue lighter, pomegrranet burts bees lip balm, boob phone, 63 cents

Replaceable

Honesty moment

'I really missed you'

couldn't even say it

to my face that is

missed me?

missed me?

yeah; like you miss

stale bread

too-ripe bananas

and new shoes

only when it's all you've got

"I missed you too"

was i lieing?
only a little

I missed you at firt

a lot

like chocolate when I PMS

and my puppy when he is with his other mom

or scarves in the winter

then

more like the smell of work

and now i almost forgot to miss you

or that i did at all

life

it's a funny thing

funny that you miss me now

now that I'm okay

now

that you found

a replacement

now

that you dont need me

anymore

it's funny

that i called it all

funny that it's funny

that i lost my best friend

ha

i guess that

isn't really

funny

is it?

comfortable

smell of cigarettes in the car with the windows down, old coins in a cookie tin, my fathers camis, child abused carpets, dirty garages, an old green couch in a house on maryland ave, the roof of an abandoned ice fatory, in my thoughts after a cup of coffee thick with soy and sugar, and inside a hug

3-26

There is a soft chipper breeze thumbing through the tangled red throngs of tortured hair upon my head. Face is broken out, fingers sore, toes dirty, and i refused to wear a bra today. This sunny-side up disposition of mine is doing my day well and the soaked-up rain has soiled my stepping spots to just the right softness.